I promised you something exciting...

And here it is; an anecdote of exhilirant proportions. Do you think you're ready? Perhaps you should take more time to prepare yourself for this truly mind-blowing, eye-popping, spine-tingling stuff. Here goes..

Shortly after I'd come offline this morning, having created this beautiful blog, the post arrived. As usual, I had to race my gorgeous doggy, Cass to the front door. When she wins, she rips everything into shreds, which puts the pressure on me to get there first. And being the least fit person to walk (or rather, lazily traipse) the planet, my chances aren't brilliant. This morning, I managed to succeed and gathered up all the mail as she was leaping around me and barking like some crazed bampot. Anyway, to rip myself from following this tangent I seem to have wandered off onto, among the other stuff (including a Kimya Dawson CD I'd bought from Amazon, my bank statement and an invitation to some art talk at the Tramway), was an incredibly light (as in weight, not colour), brown cardboard box. I opened up the parcel and inside there was (here comes the titillating climax...) absolutly nothing. Barren. Devoid, destitute, desolate. Uninhabited, unoccupied. Bare. Thoroughly empty! As for who sent me this mysteriously vacant box; I have no idea. How curious.

Okay, so perhaps I hyped this story up a notch, but it is by far the most exciting thing that has happened to me today and I felt I should share it to those poor unfortunate souls that have nothing better to do with their time than to read this. Just so that you know, I'm not so egotistical that I imagine millions of people are sat at their computers, reading my eejit ramblings. I guess I'm really typing this to satisfy my own boredom and if the person I'm talking to right now really does exist, well that'll be an unexpected bonus. Hello there!

Now, I'm off to listen to my newly purchased Remember That I Love You now. Stop distracting me from such an important task, internet!